Be Still My Heart

It’s funny how things and circumstances unfold so sudden that you had no time to step back and look through in a different perspective.

I was browsing my resume just this Sunday and was thinking of updating my profiles in different job-seeking sites but decided to close the document and went back to sleeping. I have no idea what prompted me to do that, but I had thoughts of preparing to move on and find another job in the future.

Just two days ago, my discipler and I were talking about goals — getting stuck in a job, chasing your dreams, finding your passions and many more. I told her I have a lot of goals in mind, but I also have a lot of fears and those cripple me from going all out. 

The truth is, I like settling. I like where I’m in. It’s the feeling of living “okay”. I have a job, I have a salary, it allows me to do things like traveling and many more. Do I have a goal? Yes. Am I working my way to reach that goal? Partly yes and no.

I quit my first job in the hopes of growing and learning more in my second job. I felt like I was in a learning curve for a year and even a year has passed, I still find myself not able to grasp the whole idea of what I am working on.

There are days when I miss my role in my first job. I miss the fact that I knew what I was doing and I was doing somehow well. I liked how people came to me for suggestions and resolutions. I liked sharing my knowledge. I liked the security.

When I left it, I gave everything up to the Lord. I was out of my comfort zone and instead of learning, I got stuck. A year later, I haven’t acquired a new set of skills. In technical aspects, I got lost and camped out instead of walking further.

Upon hearing the news last night, fear and anxiety shook my being. I have no idea what to do. I have no back-up plans (except of course to try my passions). I’m not yet prepared — emotionally, financially and mentally.

As much as I am scared of the days ahead, I also have this excitement that this might be a chance for me to look through my options or finally chase the things that I want to do. I can use this as an excuse or an opportunity to try things out and see where it would take me.

This morning, when I went to pray, the first verse I caught while opening my Bible was Mark 11:22-24 and it says, “22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly[a] I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

I was dumbfounded. I stopped and read the highlighted verses in my Bible and laughed. God knows what I’m going through and He knows what’s ahead.

I should know this best because He showed me how He could turn a setback into success last year. He made sure that I understood what closing doors and opening doors meant. I learned that in all of this, He is sovereign and my security should only be found in Him. It’s not like it’s the end of the world. This might be a detour… a detour to something better, to something nicer, to something where God really wants me to be.

I realized that I wasn’t as scared like the time I left my first job. I’m scared, yes. But I’m also excited to what’s ahead because I know God’s with me and He has my best interest at His heart. Always and forever.

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

God tells us to come to Him and ask for His peace instead of worrying. Worrying doesn’t do anything. It doesn’t resolve what has been agreed and it doesn’t change the future. It just drains our soul and it’s not healthy.

And God definitely knows it when He told us not to worry.

Do Not Worry

22 Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes.24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life[b]? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

27 “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! 29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hey! Hope everything is going fine for you out there. Just have faith and everything will fall in to their places. 😀

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