2015: The Undoing

2015 has finally come to an end and I couldn’t even exactly describe the highs and lows this ride brought me. I have experienced so much that it was overwhelming yet at the same time amazingly humbling.

If 2014 brought significant changes in my career, 2015 settled relationships. It was a season of change, one that was so drastic that it brought me emotional stress, pain and scars – but it paved way for the healing of the relationships that truly mattered.

That year reminded me that I am not in control — I never was and never will. I could give my all in all, do the best that I could, cross oceans, wear my heart on my sleeve, and I will still fail. And instead of relying into my capabilities, I have learned to let go and give it all up to God.

They said this life is a process of undoing, not just a specific situation, but this whole journey that we have in this world. And to be completely undone is the time when we stand in front of the Lord. But do not misinterpret the process nor the season we are in. It is a catapult to where God wants us to be, a preparation to what’s to come, and a test of faith and perseverance.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not in your own understanding. Acknowledge him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight.” – Proverbs 3:5-6

This was my theme verse for 2015 — to trust with all my heart means to have a firm belief that God is looking out for me and that everything will work out for His glory; to never rely on my own capabilities and perspectives as God can see the past, present and future; to always remember Him in everything I do as He will guide me in the path of His righteousness.

It was indeed a year of daily surrender – it was the only way I could have survived that hard year.

In 2015, I started getting to know myself more. I vowed never to settle. It was the year I became more human. I loved and in the process broke my heart, but it was necessary to remind myself that I could only do so much more. I have limitations but that doesn’t mean I will not try my best. I ceased to exist, I started living. A year of firsts, I called it.

I usually do summaries of the past months of 2015, but since this year seemed to be very different from the past ones, I’ve just decided to make a video of my 2015 travels.

It’s been indeed a good ride. Amid repeated heartbreaks and crying, God was, is and will still be good! Thank you Lord, thank you 2015! Now, forward we go to a new year!


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