A few days ago, I was reading through my profile and saw all those heartbreaking quotes reposted from pages like berlin-artparasites, The Artidote, Wordporn – you name it – I decided to delete each one, especially those which sounded so pathetic. I didn’t want to read it next year on Facebook’s “On This Day” feature and be reminded how I desperately wore my heart on my sleeve online.
At one point, I deactivated from Facebook as I didn’t want to read anything related to love anymore. To add to that, people kept on posting about ‘forever, love and happy endings’. It seemed like love was on sale – cheap, trendy and mainstream.
Some of my friends asked me why I had to deactivate and I couldn’t give them a decent answer though I knew why. I had to draw a line to my pathetic state. I had to get out of Facebook to shut everyone and keep mum about the issue. I knew who I was becoming and I didn’t want any of that.
I was hurting. The breakup was so fresh that I felt like I had all the right to let it all out. I could relate to all kinds of heartbreaking quotes, as if those were written only for me. I felt like I was allowed to post and repost and let everyone know that he left me and my heart was breaking. I wanted to shame him, to let all of our friends know how big of a douche he was. I wanted people to ask me so I could tell them I was the victim and how I tried my best to love him in the only way I knew how and had even crossed oceans to see him, talk, and probably get back together. It was a shout-out to him that from thereon, he was going downhill and he would never do better – the fact that he chose someone who was six years younger than he was, a college student and who was not as brilliant as I was.
As days passed and as my heart continued to heal – after everything had been put into perspective, I realized I’ve made a big mistake. How I wished I could turn back time and take back everything I have said about him, our relationship and us – online and offline.
The guy only wanted to be happy and who was I to shame him for having the courage to choose to let go and chase happiness?
Sometimes, we all get so caught up with our emotions that it could cloud our sanity. Things just get really messed up that even the wisest version of us become the lowest of the low. As soon as we realize we have the wrong motives of posting on Facebook, get off and deactivate. It saves us a whole lot of dignity.
Instead of posting quotes, we can do a lot of activities that would help us more in our moving-on campaign like catching up with a friend over a cup of coffee, take a run or exercise in a gym, learn cooking, enroll in a language school and learn Japanese, read beautiful books, pray and meditate on the word of the Lord. At this point in your life, all those “move on, you’ll be okay, you don’t deserve him, his loss” cliché lines that we all heard from our friends wouldn’t be of much help anymore.
So just get out, and get a life!