I’m currently in Coron and I lie awake, staring at the ceiling with so many things on my mind and so many questions in my heart.
I was planning to go to Culion to ask for a closure but I guess I won’t be going. Apparently, he has a girlfriend and the girl even sent me a txt message and introduced herself like, ‘im his gf and you are the ex right?’. It hurts but I realized how messed up he is. He couldn’t even handle his affairs. Was it needed for him to give her my number and allow her to break the news for me? That was a low blow. He could’ve been honest and told me he has a girlfriend. It’s not like I’m chasing after him, I just want my closure. I think I deserve at least that.
But the way things unfolded today, there’s no way I’m setting foot on that island! Who needs a closure from a cheater and a liar? I think we’re better off this way. He was able to replace me in a month, so why would I not think he wasnt cheating during the five months he was there? I just couldnt believe that he could do something like this. Maybe I never knew him. Or maybe I underestimated him. I dont know. Or maybe he changed.
So I don’t know how to spend the rest of the week in Coron. I feel like going home but my friends told me to enjoy my vacation and be refreshed or feel renewed.
And I’m glad I brought my Bible. What would I do without it?
I’m actually so pissed off. I feel like I’m the third party now or the girl who wants to ruin their relationship. The only funny thing is the fact that the girl is a jejemon. When I read her text, I didn’t know what to feel – should I laugh or should I cry? Laugh because she texts that way, or cry because he settled for someone like that. Maybe she’s pretty, or sweet or smart, I dont know. I have no plans of knowing.
When he asked me if he could introduce us, I just burst up. How could he? Couldn’t they understand respect? How can you introduce the new girl to the ex without all of you feeling awkward? What an idiot.
I cant believe I put up with this man for 7 years! I cant believe I never saw how stupid, unreliable, disrespectful he is!
He even asked me to buy him clothes and give him those when we see each other! The nerve! I hope he couldve told me he has a gf even before I decided to go here. I feel so alone and worse, I’m hurting.
God indeed has His ways of breaking you up and molding you again. This is God telling me to stop and move on. This is God telling me I have someone better for you. I had to learn it the hard way but I hope I’ll be fine one day.
I know I have my shortcomings, but never in my life had I thought I’ll do this to him. I’m really trying to convince myself that I’ll be okay. Not now, but maybe someday.
Thank you Lord for this time, may You hide me under your wings and show me the unfailing love You have for each one of us.
Fill my mind with thoughts of You and You alone. Fill my heart with Your love and peace that there will be no room for bitterness, pain and revenge.