Hello, how’s your heart?
It’s been awhile (again) since I updated this blog. Last Saturday, I’ve spent the whole day trying to choose a decent theme for this page, but I couldn’t decide what to choose. I’ve been spending days in the living room’s black couch trying to be a perfect couch potato. Pft, so not cool.
But this week’s Saturday, I woke up early, wore my pink floral dress and went to have a makeover. This isn’t your typical “makeover” – you know, the makeups, the hairstyle, the closet? Nahhh, it’s more of a total makeover of beauty within, which is so much better as beauty is said to be skin-deep.
For the past few weeks, I’ve been struggling with questions about faith, transformation, confession of sin and forgiveness. A good friend of mine and I have been discussing it for quite some time but I am still bothered. I’ve also discussed this to my discipler and as I continue to read the Bible, I am more confused and disturbed and scared.
I am only human, imperfect in so many ways. I sin and though I can avoid and control it, some times I can’t. Those sin makes me guilty and I’ve been thinking about it lately. It seems that no matter how I remind myself that I have confessed and forgiven, I am still restless and unassured.
I keep on reminding myself of 1 John 1:9 which says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all the unrighteousness.” It somehow formulated another question, “Why am I not changing?” And this was answered yesterday in the makeover.
I was so blessed that I had the chance to attend such event – no weekend work, and no negativity whatsoever. The speakers were great women who in their own fields excelled, who in their own had struggles far greater than I have known, who in their own had succeeded and went out of the storm scathed but way way stronger than before.
They have defined beauty not in man’s standard but in God’s.
The first topic was about the “Essence of a Woman” by Dawn Urquico. Dawn had been in so much struggle and heart-ache – she has a husband who was a drug addict, a convict, a womanizer, irresponsible etc. But because she knows that God loves her so much, she shared and showed that love to her husband by having a gentle and quiet spirit, by submitting to him just as the Bible had commanded and by just really loving him unconditionally amidst all the painful things he had done.
She explained how she was a change in progress for 10 years. That instead of wallowing in her pain, she yearned more for God’s love instead. She desired to know God and follow in His footsteps and God was able to transform her into the woman she is today. Not only that, as God was changing her, He was also changing her husband which then lead to him being a pastor in Taytay, Rizal. Can you just see how awesome He is? He was able to change a very sinful man!
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.
– 1 Timothy 1:15-16
And as I listened to her story, it was like an eye-opener to me. It answered the one of the questions I was asking to myself and to the Lord. The transformation from the Holy Spirit does not happen in one day, or in a week, or in a month. It can take ten long hard years – it can take a lot of time, obedience and submission.
The second topic was about “Style” by Mia Urquico of MICO. What I like the most about her talk was that it was very into the topic – about body types, what and what not to wear, what colors are in, what bags are the ‘it’, and how to accessorize. It was very light and very practical. But as much as she talked about the worldly things, she also talked about what is beautiful and what is not. At the end of the day, it’s still about your heart.
Is your heart happy? Is something missing in your life? Are you hopeful? Are you positive? The bottom rock is still having Him in your life, in your heart. And I do agree with that – the secret to beauty is joy. When you have joy in your heart, you have peace and contentment and that just radiates in you which then makes you a whole lot beautiful than the others.
Charm is deceptive and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. – Proverbs 31:30
As I reviewed my notes last night, I asked myself, “Why am I so conscious of my face? Of how I wear? Of how I look? Of my weight?” 1 Samuel 16:7 said, People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. This does not impress God in any way, as what matters most to Him is my heart and my soul. What matters most to Him is that I live my life according to His will, that I choose to be pure even amidst changes and past sins, that I preserve it for Him.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. – Colossians 3:3