I was able to finish my work before 8pm, and I found myself sitting on my desk with nothing to do. I browsed through the Internet and remembered my blogsite and decided to check it out. I was feeling all giddy and shameful at the same time. It’s the same feeling as looking at your ‘ex-crush’ and asking yourself why you liked that guy a long time ago.

Friend: But you like hi-

Me: Don’t even speak a single word.

My writing wasn’t very good back then, up until now. Haha. I was blabbing about things everyday and I keep on degrading myself. And I thought I had confidence back then. That blog’s really funny. I’d like to keep it going on but I’m tired of logging in and out. I also forgot the email I used and everything. If you have any ideas how to retrieve an account in in blogsite, please do help me. They’ve already sent an email on my yahoo account but I can’t also seem to remember which.

Indeed, keeping a journal is good. I actually saw how my writing skills has changed and how I react to situations in life.

There were entries about how I both hated and liked joining the CAT group; what I felt when I had to go to Cotabato City for the regional essay writing (and met a friend);  when I ate an insect and kept it in my mouth while singing on a choir; how I fell in and out of love from my long time elementary crush; how I had numerous blog posts about my crushes in highschool (in which entries I couldn’t remember who I was talking about); how I met God and changed my view to the world; how I adapt to college life and meet a whole new bunch of people; how I was so in love and disappointed with my first boyfriend (only ex boyfriend); and how I have gotten through my daily life.

If you compare it to my newer blogs such as this and tumblr, you can probably see the changes – like how I see the struggles, the troubles, the joys, the heartaches, the blessings, the moments, and many other else. I used to sulk and overthink things, but in the present, I tend to shoo dark clouds away and put my own sun to brighten up my day. Actually, instead of worrying of such things, I now hand it to Him.

That alone, based on my posts, is a big difference.

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